The Unexpected

Sorry it's been a while. This is kind of a long one...

 

In the military, it’s practically a crime if you don’t have children right away. Since we got married at the age of 23 (Well, I was 5 days away from my 23^rd birthday) and were right out of college, we thought it would be best to wait. This really bothered other military wives. They didn’t understand that we wanted to be financially stable and travel some. We had our lives all planned out, but there was something we weren’t prepared for…

Just over 2 years ago we decided to start thinking about having children. Since my husband is a pilot, he was gone a lot, so we figured we were just having timing issues. After about a year, my body stopped functioning the way it’s supposed to each month. I ruled out the obvious, and I assumed it was from the stress of the holidays and some international travel that I had done. I waited for 3 months, but I realized something wasn’t right.

My doctor also ruled out pregnancy and ordered some blood work and an ultrasound. The blood work came back normal, but the ultrasound revealed I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). Basically it means that I get tiny cysts that can prevent ovulation. It also explained a few persistent pounds I had put on that were not coming off. He explained that this could complicate getting pregnant, but there were things we could do. My first question was, “Did I do something wrong?” My doctor answered, “Absolutely not.”

I received this diagnosis the day before hosting a baby shower for my sister. While I was thrilled for her, it was definitely a challenge not to come up with a smart ass answer when the older ladies at her shower asked, “Why don’t you have children, Lindsey?”

I started on low doses of Clomid and Metformin to assist with ovulation. They weren’t bad, but I did get a little moody and they didn’t always agree with my stomach. After a few months, it was time for another trip back to the doctor. Since we had been in the process of moving during my diagnosis, I was still seeing my doctor in Florida, which meant a 10 hour drive and balancing work on top of the travel.

My doctor scheduled another ultrasound and more blood work that had to be done on a specific day in my cycle. I had planned to drive back from Florida that day and while my job is flexible, I take it seriously and I don't think I've ever called in sick over the last 5 years. Everyone knew I was in Florida for a long weekend but didn’t know why… So asking for someone to cover for me could potentially look like I was trying to extend my long weekend. I went in for the tests in the morning, and made the long drive back that afternoon. I was tired, but I was determined.

 After that round of tests, my doctor increased the doses of my medications, but warned “If after 3 months this doesn’t work, we’ll have to talk about other options.” From my research, I knew that meant the hardcore fertility treatments. After discussing it, my husband and I decided we couldn’t handle injections. (Well, I couldn't handle getting them and he couldn't handle giving them to me.) We also discussed how we would be more than happy to adopt, but that can be a long road, as well. In the mean time, I started going to acupuncture because I had read good things about it when it comes to fertility. I am terrified of needles, but I didn’t mind this and today I swear by it.

 I didn’t feel the need to broadcast my challenges and I really tried hard not to complain, but it was frustrating watching people without issues. And while I tried to always stay positive, it was hard to understand why the universe would give someone like Snooki a baby while others struggle.

 The month before, I was 9 days late (which I thought was a little cruel of the universe), so when I was 1 day late I didn’t think much of it. I decided to test anyway, I mean, how else will Clearblue Easy stay in business, right? The test came back positive. In disbelief, I took another test (Ok 4 to be exact) all with the same results.

 My doctor confirmed the results right before Thanksgiving. We told our families and a few very close friends at Christmas, but I was hesitant to tell anyone else because I’d read people with PCOS have higher risks. Since I’m officially 20 weeks and we know for sure I am having a girl, we figured we could go public :)

I’m sure some people will say we “decided” to have a baby because others we know have had them recently, but we know that it took 2 years and a little bit of a miracle. Many women go through so much more than we did and I can’t imagine what that is like. When we finally did tell people I was surprised at how many women had similar challenges, because it’s something you just don’t talk about. The few stories I did hear before our success kept me motivated and positive.

Part of me wonders what would have happened if we hadn’t waited, but then I think about all of the amazing adventures we’ve had… We’ve seen the ruins of Pompeii and Carthage. We’ve been able to tour the Sistine Chapel and see glaciers in Alaska. We’ve been swimming with dolphins, beluga whales, and sea lions (Oh, my!). Last year, I even got to sail a transatlantic voyage aboard a brand new cruise ship. People have said our adventures are over, but we have no plans to stop and honestly… I think the adventures are just beginning :)