This entry is not the usual attempt at being funny…
The hardest part about being a military wife is that you sometimes have to face difficult situations alone. I don’t mind dealing with car repairs or appliances that attack me, but there have been times that I just needed him there.
About this time last year, my husband was sitting alert, yet again. This meant that he had to be within 30 minutes of the base at all times and he had to sleep at a dorm on base. It was close to 11pm and I was settling into bed when my phone rang. I noticed on the caller ID that it was my sister, which was odd, because she usually just sends a text. “Linds?” said a shakey voice. “Memom just passed away.” Memom is my grandmother. She was 91 and had lived with my parents since I was a kid. She had been in the hospital that week, but we were told not to worry because she was expected to recover just fine. I know she had lived a long life, but I hadn’t been expecting this call.
My sister thought ahead and called my husband before she called me. She knew I was alone that night and thought I should have someone there. My husband probably wasn’t supposed to leave the base, but I was so grateful he did. It’s never easy to deal with news like that, but it’s especially hard when you’re alone. He let me cry myself out for the night and stayed as long as he could. After that, my overprotective little dog never left me. It’s funny how your pets just know when something isn’t right.
The funeral was in Pennsylvania, where my family is from originally and where my grandmother had already made some arrangements long before we moved to Florida. I started making plans to go to the funeral. Alone.
Since my husband was sitting alert, no one could take over for him without all kinds of drama. Apparently, the death of your wife’s grandmother is not important enough for the military to replace someone on alert or give out emergency leave. That was rough.
I am used to answering the same questions with a smile about my life and where my husband is over and over. I am a pro at going stag to weddings and I’ve even been to a few funerals alone with no problem, but this just felt wrong. It seemed heartless, somehow.
At the funeral, it came time to say goodbye, and in that moment, I would have given anything to have him there. It was one of those times where your arms feel out of place on your own body, because it’s a moment like that when they’re meant to be holding someone.
I usually find humor in awkward situations, because, let’s face it… I am really good at putting myself in them, but this was a challenge for me. I generally get over the things and it becomes a funny story, but this is one instance I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that. I realize they can’t give everyone every funeral off (especially when half the squadron is on maternity leave), but this was important.
For me, the hardest part about being a military wife is not moving, or dealing with random situations, It's facing bad news on my own. As upset as I was, I am also very fortunate, I have amazing family and friends to support me and that makes all the difference.
