The truth about pilots

My husband really is not a fan of the film, Top Gun.  Don’t get him started on why “Goose wouldn’t have died”. You will lose. Aside from the inaccuracies about flying and the military, he hates the cheesy moments we all love about Top Gun.  He cringes whenever “you’ve lost that loving feeling” comes on the radio.

Last week, I understood how he feels, as I was inspired to write after seeing Green Lantern. I just had a hard time believing that the chick from Gossip Girl is a fighter pilot. I think the purple aliens are a little more believable. I watched an interview with her where she described her part in the film and she said, “We play like the 2 best fighter pilots in the world.” Seriously?

It got me thinking about some common misconceptions about pilots… So here goes:

-If you’ve played flight simulator on Play Station, you can land a plane- Eh, I guess it couldn’t hurt, but being a pilot takes tons of studying and practice. There’s all kinds of math that goes into it, and it just looks confusing. A large amount of people do not graduate from pilot training.

- Being a fighter pilot is glamorous- not really. Sure, it’s a pretty badass job to have, but fighter pilots get serious hemorrhoids. (Yes, you read that correctly.) Apparently to work with the high G forces they deal with there is a “straining maneuver” they have to use and they’re commonly treated for hemorrhoids as a result. Sexy, huh?

- Every pilot gets a cool call sign/ nickname- Nope, just fighter pilots and they’re not usually cool nicknames, like Maverick… Maybe more like Goose. They are generally a reminder of something embarrassing you did in pilot training. My husband doesn’t have a call sign because he’s a cargo pilot, but they did call him Milhouse (from The Simpsons) in pilot training because he wears glasses and always knows the answers. One example is, apparently there is a pilot who lost his ring finger in an accident and has the call sign “Shocker.” (No, I'm not going to explain it.) Other call signs can be pretty R rated and the thought of typing them here makes me blush.

- You get used to all things flying- not so much. You get pretty bad gas from all of the constant air pressure. This goes for everyone who flies, but military pilots spend a lot of time in the air. Also, on some planes, rather than having a bathroom, just have a closet with a tube and a bucket with a plastic liner. Clearly designed by a dude.

- Anyone can be a pilot- Again, not really. First off, the physical to just go to pilot training is intense! (They took 9 vials of blood, the thought of which, just makes me want to cry.) There are all kinds of crazy restrictions. Some are pretty common knowledge like vision requirements, but there are other weird ones like height restrictions. If you’ve ever been diagnosed with any chronic medical conditions, you’ll have to get all kinds of waivers to go to pilot training.

- Being a pilot takes you to exotic places- Only once in a while. Most of the major pilot training bases are in locations I never care to visit and some, I pray we’ll never have to go back to again. (I’m talking to you, Enid, Oklahoma!) Sure, once you’re a pilot you can go a few cool places, but sometimes it means yet another trip to the desert to drop off mattresses. You can count on being away pretty much all the time.

So pretty much, when it comes to pilots, if you’ve seen it in a movie, there’s a less glamorous side, I assure you. There are multiple other things I could comment on, but this entry would be quite long, so perhaps I’ll write more on this in the future. Special thanks to my husband for always making comments during movies with flight scenes that make me laugh… And for checking this entry for me, so I got my facts right :)

Opinions

“Your opinion, what is that? It’s just a different point of view,” – Your Winter by Sister Hazel (one of my favorite bands, also from the Sunshine State)

I meant to write this post a month ago, but due to more current events it got delayed.

May 14^th was our 6th wedding anniversary. It’s kind of hard to believe that it’s gone by so fast… I guess time does fly when you’re having fun! Although I will say, thanks to the military, our first 2 years of marriage were truly a test of how strong we are. They moved us 4 times in those 2 years and that was frustrating to say the least.

The funny thing about it all is, while some people made my life easier, others actually made this harder for us. Looking back, sure it was challenging moving and being apart, but aside from the military (and the 1 truly awful location), it was the comments from others that made life more difficult.

I’ve never been one of those women needs to be near my husband every waking moment and he’s never been one of those men who is helpless without his wife. It’s something people don’t seem to understand about us, but that’s alright.

When my husband was in pilot training, it was a very busy time for him. He was often shut up in a room studying and I felt useless because there was nothing I could really do. I would travel to Florida often and work at my old job from time to time. There were also times when he would be away for training classes and while I was allowed to go with him, it wasn’t encouraged.  Sure I’d visit if it was a training class that was a few months long, but I just didn’t see the point of staying there with nothing to do, especially when I could be doing something constructive.

People just didn’t get this. We both got a lot of comments, but especially me. Others thought there must be trouble in paradise when we were apart… And they were quick to ask me about it too! Sometimes it was funny to me that people who didn’t have to live my life had such an opinion, but mostly, it was just frustrating.

I would get asked questions that made me laugh like, “Who cooks for your husband when you’re not there?” and statements that would make me crazy like, “You know, Lindsey, one day you’ll have to choose between your career and your marriage.”

Once while my husband was away at a training class, I went to a dinner party. One of the guests probably had a little too much to drink and anytime I would mention my husband, she would yell over me, “You’re not really married! You’re faking it!” This got particularly awkward because everyone would stop and stare. Finally, tired of being interrupted, I explained he was in the military and away for a class. It shut her up, but I was so embarrassed. There are some friends who I stopped talking to altogether because they had such strong opinions.

 Interestingly enough, I know at least 5 other couples who were married the same year as us, who are no longer together. Maybe there is something to be said for the “weird” way we do things:)

For the record, I never had to choose. I even have a job with the company I love where I can utilize a home office. We’ve made some compromises, but that’s life. We’re happy and that’s what is important. Our life may not be perfect to other people, but that’s ok, they don’t have to live it… 6 years later, we’re still fine just the way we are.

Decision Made

Last week it felt like I said, “I don’t know, what do you think?” entirely too many times. I’m talking about my husband’s next military assignment. He was given a choice (which doesn’t happen often) and we agonized over it… All week. We laughed, I cried, we rationalized, and we made lists. It was exhausting. He had to have a decision in by last Friday so we discussed things for a few days and finally came to a decision…

We decided that it would be best if he took the pilot training assignment. It’s definitely not as nice a location as we are at now, but at least now we won’t have to wonder about things. I think what made this decision the hardest is that we really just wanted to stay where we are, unfortunately, they don’t let you do that. So we weighed the pros and cons over and over and here’s what we came up with.

The cons to this location are: it’s a small town and there’s not much there. (I will really miss the stellar shopping near my house!) It’s a little further from home for us- Home will always be Florida and while this location is still within a day’s driving distance it is further away. It’s far from the beach-  Now, I know that sounds picky of me, but I grew up in a place where you were no more than 45 minutes from the beach. It’s a weird thing I have. It’s also not the assignment we really wanted. Unfortunately, that  location doesn’t come down often, so our chances there were slim, anyway, but this was something we could both live with.

Here are the pros to this location: He won’t be gone as often! If you know me, you know I spend a lot of time alone. Aside from deployments, my husband frequently has to make lengthy trips. This means he’ll have more of a schedule and when he’s not deployed, he’ll actually be home. (I know, what a concept, right?) It means he won’t have to deploy with his squadron when they leave in October. (So it won’t be the 3^rd Christmas he’s missed in 4 years!)  He’ll have to go away for training, but at least that’s still in the United States. It’s a small town- but close to a few bigger cities, so I may have to drive a bit further to get what I want, but at least it’s not the middle of nowhere. I even have a few friends in the area… Granted, the closest is an hour away, but hey, that’s something! I might even make it to some away games for the Florida Gators:) It’s not Oklahoma! Nothing against Oklahoma, but I really didn’t enjoy the pilot training base there.

We thought about it and how often does the military ask if you want something? Not often. How often do you get to give the finger to the Assignment Gods? Almost never. Usually you roll the dice and take what you land on. It was kind of nice to be in control and make the decision for ourselves. He loves flying, but he is tired of always being gone. It will be nice to have him home more. It’s also just nice to know now. We spent so much time trying to figure it out that now a weight feels like it’s been lifted.  I just hope it was the right decision… If not, I suppose I can live with it for 3 or 4 years.

Decisions, Decisions

So this week’s entry was going to be about something else, but it seems that is a less current event, so it keeps getting pushed back. This one is about conflicted decisions. Please forgive me for being vague, I’m not sure how much information I should post here.

We’ve been pretty lucky over the last 6 years, out of 4 assignments, there is only 1 I could honestly never do again. We’re approaching the 4 year mark at the base my husband is currently stationed at. This means that there’s a good chance they’ll kick us out in January and we’ll be at the mercy of the assignment Gods. I have been dreading this. I love our current location. Not so much the fact that my husband is gone all the time and I’m left to deal with the overzealous wives, but I love the town we live in and our house.

As much as I don’t want to leave, it’s getting closer to decision time. My husband was hoping for a pilot training base for his next assignment and he had a particular one in mind. Last night, he told me it didn’t come down with the open pilot training assignments, so it’s probably not available for the fall cycle. The regular flight assignments for his plane have not come down yet, so we don’t know what’s available there. 

My husband’s commander called to ask if he wanted any of the pilot training assignments that did come down, one in particular. It’s in a small town but not Oklahoma (thank, God!) and it’s driving distance to our hometown, but further away than we are now. If he took this assignment, he would never get the pilot training assignment he really wants (because you usually only do 1 pilot training tour). It’s just not a very desirable location, but it could be worse. If we didn’t take it, he’d most likely be assigned another base with his current plane.

The good news with that is that there are 2 bases that we could live with that will most likely be offered… The bad news is that there are some not so desirable bases in that mix, as well. The bases that we’d want from this selection are not as close to home for us we’d end up dealing with something very new to us: snow.  The other con to these bases is he would be gone just about as much as he is now, whereas a pilot training assignment means he might deploy, but when he’s not, he would actually be home and have a real schedule.

I know I’m way too picky and that my pros and cons here are a blue sky situation where the military is a perfect world. It’s definitely not. I just like lists. So, the question is… Do we take the known, or roll the dice for the unknown?

The other factor in play here is that since he has a January date, he falls into both the fall and winter assignment cycles, so there’s a small chance they could wait for the winter cycle to give him orders (and possibly the base he wants), but we don’t get a say in that *bows to assignment Gods*. In addition, if they had him wait, he would most likely have to deploy with his current squadron again before the move date.

 It’s just frustrating. Sorry if this all sounds like incoherent rambling, sometimes it just helps to write things down. The hardest part for me is that I just don’t want to move. Either way, at this point, it won’t be the place we really wanted to be.