I exist!

If you haven’t guessed by now, I’m not what you would call an involved military wife. Sure, I send my husband care packages and support him even when I disagree with stuff, but I don’t really get involved. All my life, I’ve been someone who gets involved, but I’ve just never really had the desire to get involved in the spouse organization.

My lack of involvement has turned into something of legends, I think, because people always seem surprised when they meet me. Maybe it’s rare that wives don’t get involved or something? We’ve just never been the types to spend Friday nights at the officer’s club hobnobbing with other pilots and their wives.

The “legend” started when my husband was in pilot training in Oklahoma. Pilot training hours are long and tedious and we both hated that place. He was always in class, so there wasn’t much for me to do. At his pilot training graduation, he would introduce me to his classmates and they would sort of raise their eyebrows and say something like, “Oh, pleased to finally meet you.”

We sat down for the graduation rewards dinner and I was seated next to a female member of my husband's training class. She was built petite, but very athletic looking with cropped hair and no make-up. I introduced myself to her and she replied in a voice that reminded me of a young P.E. teacher, “Wow. Nice to see you actually exist. I mean, no offense, but it’s not like you’re ever around.”

First off, I hate it when people say “no offense”, because it means they’re about to say something offensive and it seems they think that phrase should excuse whatever rude thing comes out of their mouth. Second, what a thing to say to someone you just met! Seriously? I smiled and replied with, “well, I like to keep people guessing.” She rolled her eyes and went back to talking with her weird family.

And they were weird. They brought their own to go boxes for the dinner. I’m all for bringing home leftovers, but this dinner was served banquet style like a wedding or convention dinner. Not something you typically bring home a doggy bag from. (Not to mention that convention food really isn’t the greatest.) Also, their understanding of “dressy attire” included denim. I know, these things seem petty, but noticing them made me feel better about myself at the time.

I found out later that this particular pilot came in just behind my husband in the point standings of their pilot training class. Your class standing helps determine the assignment you’ll get out of pilot training… She apparently really wanted the assignment my husband got and obviously she got something else. 

At our current base, I also try to avoid getting involved, mostly because it causes incessant emails and phone calls from the “lead spouse” and the “key spouses.” I’ve never been someone who tries to fly under the radar, but I find myself doing that more lately. This goes against the overachieving theatre kid in me, but I don't mind. I may not be someone who is super involved, but I assure you, I exist.

It's that time of year again...

When you grow up in Florida, there are no snow days from school. There are, however, hurricane days. In 29 years, I’ve lived through more hurricanes than I can remember. There were 3 in 2004, alone. It’s something you get used to.

While hurricanes are definitely something you should take seriously, I notice people who aren’t used to them, tend to really panic over them. The good news is, you can be prepared and if you live near a coastal community, chances are your local weather authorities will know well in advance when a hurricane is coming. This gives you time to prepare or evacuate the area. I’ve found it’s better to be a little prepared in advance, though, because when a warning is issued, the stores are packed with people buying water and batteries.

At our current base, hurricanes are possible (a major storm devastated one beach community about 45 minutes from here years ago), but they don’t happen nearly as often as they do in Florida. So every year, about this time, I start getting the emails saying I need to give the spouse organization my contact information and evacuation plans in the event of a hurricane. Then, with every storm (doesn’t matter if it’s a hurricane, tropical storm or tropical depression) I start to get panicked emails and phone calls from the spouse organization about the “hurricane”. As a side note, there is quite a difference between a tropical depression, tropical storm, and a hurricane; but the spouse organization insists on calling them all hurricanes. This bothers me because I feel the improper nomenclature here causes somewhat unnecessary panic.

I also start getting badgering calls that I need to “report in.” These are usually at an ungodly hour on a weekend whether the “hurricane” has hit here or not. Sometimes they are even when a hurricane has hit multiple states away, which I don’t get.

In Florida, while we take these things seriously, we also find ways to have fun. It’s not uncommon for some Floridians to look forward to throwing a hurricane party. Usually this means “hunkering down” with friends at someone’s house who you know doesn’t lose power or water during a major storm. Someone always thinks to bring some kind of adult beverage, as well.  In Key West, the locals don’t even evacuate for a storm because the roads would be too crowded getting out of there. They get the tourists out and prepare for the storm.

Once, the “lead spouse” was panicking about a tropical storm (that she kept calling a hurricane and never actually hit. We didn’t even get rain bands from it.). I made the joke that in Florida we have hurricane parties and all you need is a little rum for a good hurricane. To which she replied that I should take things more seriously. It was at this moment that I chose not to quote “it’s five o’clock somewhere” and ask what Jimmy Buffett would do... Although, I have a feeling I know what he would do. Maybe I should take things more seriously, but I just don’t see any reason to cause unnecessary panic. There’s a difference between prepared and panicked.

Not a Domestic Diva

I will never be Suzy Homemaker. I’ve always known that. I love Martha Stewart, but I don’t have the kind of patience needed for some of those projects.

 Rather than a frilly, pretty apron, mine is black and says, “We all have to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another glass of wine.” I’m a pretty good cook, not necessarily a great cook, but some things I do really well. My sour cream pound cake (a recipe from my grandmother) is legendary among our family and friends during the holidays. I don’t really even like pound cake, but it’s that good. Honestly, though, sometimes it’s just easier to make a package of break and bake cookies or pick up a pie from Publix. (The best grocery store bakery. Ever.) I don’t plan out a week’s worth of meals in advance because sometimes I’ll find I’m just not in the mood for what I’ve planned to make. My house is always clean, but sometimes can get a little messy. I think that’s how most people are, though.

I have noticed that quite a few other military wives love to show off their skills, and some of them have a really good reason to. I’ll never forget the day another military couple we knew asked us over to grill out. I don’t remember what we were having, but it was pretty standard grill fare and a few sides. Since I was a guest, I thanked the couple and complimented them on the meal.

To this, my husband thanked them also and added, “we’ll have to have you all over sometime.” Then the wife of the other couple looked at my husband sympathetically and said to me in a sweet voice, “You know, Lindsey, if you want I can show you my easy cookbooks.”

Seriously? What do you even say to that?

I was so taken aback at that comment I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to tell her that she had obviously not had the pleasure of trying my pound cake… But instead I added in an equally sweet tone, “Oh, thank you! I actually have quite a few easy cookbooks of my own at home.”

I may not be a domestic diva, but I do have some skills. What can I say? I like to keep people guessing :)