The saga continues...

 So, I did decide to reply to the email the commander’s wife sent me:
“Thank you so much for your generous invitation! I apologize for the delay in my reply, but I am 37 weeks pregnant, so we've had a lot going on. It would be nice to see you again, since we did not get to chat much at the Christmas party and I have been in and out of town quite a bit over the last few months. Thankfully,I have close friends in the squadron who have been doing a wonderful job of keeping me in the loop during the busy season for my job, as well as my travels. Unfortunately, I have a doctor's appointment on the aforementioned date and will not be able to make it to the coffee. Thank you again for the invitation and it was nice to hear from you!”

I won’t post her full response, but it basically requested my information again, so she could add me to the roster for emails (um… isn’t that what we’re doing now? Why is my cell necessary?). It also stated that I should join their FB group to stay up to date on information and that they would like to coordinate baby meals for me. Additionally, this was included: “If I recall I think I heard that you didn’t have the best experience in a previous spouse’s group? If that is the reason you have been hesitant to participate with I would appreciate you giving us a chance. We have a great group of ladies and would love for you to be active in our socials.”

She knows that I didn’t love the previous spouse organization but she does not know details. While it’s a nice idea, I was going to mention that I will have family visiting when the baby is born (which is true), so I will be well taken care of.  I don’t mind the social aspects and it could be helpful with a baby, but I don’t want to have to “report in” while my husband is away in the future. I’m also not sure about joining the FB page. Mine is on private, so I don’t think they could see anything, but you never know… I was thinking of giving them my home phone (Which I use mostly for work and rarely answer), but I'm not sure about the address.

I am currently working on a response, but I welcome any advice :)

Found!

Well, it took over a year, but it seems they’ve found me! The spouse’s organization, I mean. You see, when we moved here, I just didn’t give out my information. A lot of people have said, “Well, what if something happens to your husband? How will they contact you?” If something happens, they follow his emergency contact card in their system (which is up to date), it is not necessary for the spouse’s organization to also have that information. 

 Apparently the “lead spouse” here found out that some wife (me) who she was unaware of (we’ve met at least twice) was about to receive benefits and here is where the trouble started. She fired off a rude email to my friend about how she needed my contact information immediately and how upset she was that she had not been kept in the loop. The best part was, she copied her husband on the email. I feel like that’s just the adult equivalent of “I’m telling on you!” Plus, it doesn’t really matter. My actions as a spouse should have no impact on my husband’s career (well, unless maybe I break the law on base, but I rarely go there, anyway, and this certainly isn’t a law)… And that right there is a big reason as to why I had no desire to join the spouse’s organization. I have no time for drama like this.

 Well, somehow she found me herself… The other day, I received an email summoning me to a “welcome coffee” at her home (we’ve been here over a year now and I’ve met her before. Obviously, I was very memorable). She also stated in the email multiple times that she required my contact information, specifically my cell phone number. I have yet to respond but the “welcome coffee” will be when I am 37 ½ weeks pregnant. My usually diplomatic filter is deteriorating fast and frankly, I have no idea what will come out of my mouth lately. It could make for some interesting blog fodder, though.

 Some people have asked, “Why not just give them the information and get involved?” Well, my big reason is because of our previous base. If you’ve read this blog for a while now, you know that the spouse organization at our last base was always asking us to “report in” and would blow up my phone for ridiculous reasons (once, to ask if I was in Texas. This base was no where near Texas). They would also send me to email jail on a daily basis, sometimes sending as many as 10 emails in the span of an hour over things that could have been covered in 1 email. As someone who telecommutes, I spend a lot of time on my computer and I do not have time for unnecessary messages reminding me of the same things over and over again.

 Also, call me difficult, but I don’t like being told what to do by people who I don’t work for. I have a great job and I will do back flips if my leaders ask me to, but they pay me. Imagine if the spouses of your significant other’s co-workers suddenly started telling them that they needed to be in constant contact with them. It just doesn’t make sense.

 And finally, I don’t join because of the drama mentioned above. We’re adults, I don’t need someone running to their husband and “telling on me” if I don’t do exactly as they say. The “lead spouse” at our last base used to copy the commander if she disagreed. That’s just ridiculous.

I have always been involved in organizations. I’m not one to sit back and do nothing or fly under the radar, I’ve always been an achiever… but when it comes to being a military wife, I’d really rather just blend in with the crowd.