“Your opinion, what is that? It’s just a different point of view,” – Your Winter by Sister Hazel (one of my favorite bands, also from the Sunshine State)
I meant to write this post a month ago, but due to more current events it got delayed.
May 14th was our 6th wedding anniversary. It’s kind of hard to believe that it’s gone by so fast… I guess time does fly when you’re having fun! Although I will say, thanks to the military, our first 2 years of marriage were truly a test of how strong we are. They moved us 4 times in those 2 years and that was frustrating to say the least.
The funny thing about it all is, while some people made my life easier, others actually made this harder for us. Looking back, sure it was challenging moving and being apart, but aside from the military (and the 1 truly awful location), it was the comments from others that made life more difficult.
I’ve never been one of those women needs to be near my husband every waking moment and he’s never been one of those men who is helpless without his wife. It’s something people don’t seem to understand about us, but that’s alright.
When my husband was in pilot training, it was a very busy time for him. He was often shut up in a room studying and I felt useless because there was nothing I could really do. I would travel to Florida often and work at my old job from time to time. There were also times when he would be away for training classes and while I was allowed to go with him, it wasn’t encouraged. Sure I’d visit if it was a training class that was a few months long, but I just didn’t see the point of staying there with nothing to do, especially when I could be doing something constructive.
People just didn’t get this. We both got a lot of comments, but especially me. Others thought there must be trouble in paradise when we were apart… And they were quick to ask me about it too! Sometimes it was funny to me that people who didn’t have to live my life had such an opinion, but mostly, it was just frustrating.
I would get asked questions that made me laugh like, “Who cooks for your husband when you’re not there?” and statements that would make me crazy like, “You know, Lindsey, one day you’ll have to choose between your career and your marriage.”
Once while my husband was away at a training class, I went to a dinner party. One of the guests probably had a little too much to drink and anytime I would mention my husband, she would yell over me, “You’re not really married! You’re faking it!” This got particularly awkward because everyone would stop and stare. Finally, tired of being interrupted, I explained he was in the military and away for a class. It shut her up, but I was so embarrassed. There are some friends who I stopped talking to altogether because they had such strong opinions.
Interestingly enough, I know at least 5 other couples who were married the same year as us, who are no longer together. Maybe there is something to be said for the “weird” way we do things:)
For the record, I never had to choose. I even have a job with the company I love where I can utilize a home office. We’ve made some compromises, but that’s life. We’re happy and that’s what is important. Our life may not be perfect to other people, but that’s ok, they don’t have to live it… 6 years later, we’re still fine just the way we are.
moments like these are when i most appreciate my left eyebrow. it's always a little raised but i can raise that one alone, look down my glasses at someone and it's a look that makes them turn bright red and walk away. i pull it out when someone says something so obviously stupid or not their business that they aren't deserving of a verbal response and makes them think about what they just said.
ReplyDeletei somehow doubt it works on military wives.
i'm really looking forward to the book about your 'career as a military wife' in 15 years.