Don't Ask Don't Tell

In honor of the state of New York’s first week gay marriages, I thought it would be a good time for this post. I really try to stay away from discussing politics because people get very passionate about these things, but this is something I have trouble being quiet about.  Please note, I am not trying to start arguments here. It’s just my opinions and observations.

I started singing around the age of 12. I went to a performing arts high school and I was a theatre major in college. In addition, I’ve worked for the same company for 13 years and they provide same sex domestic partnership benefits. I’ve grown up having quite a few friends who are gay. I even had 2 readers at my Catholic wedding who were gay- one of them was my husband’s uncle and the other was one of my best friends. I don’t think there should be a difference in straight rights vs. gay rights, this is about human rights.

In my opinion, it’s time for Don’t Ask Don’t Tell to be gone completely. I realize it’s on the way out, but the military is still telling soldiers not to come out “just in case”. I understand the need to be cautious, but I think it’s time. There are always going to be people who are small minded when it comes to those who are “different,” but I don’t know if that can be helped. If someone is willing to die for their country, why should their sexual orientation matter? My husband and I have talked about this a lot and he agrees with me.

For the closed minded people who think they’re going to be hit on or harassed by having gays in the military… I assure you, the chances of that happening are pretty slim. However, I do applaud the confidence of these people. You must be quite a catch to be so sure that everyone wants you! I’m actually more concerned that those who are openly gay would continue to be discriminated against. The armed forces of other nations (including Israel) allow gays in their military and it doesn’t seem to be an issue.

I think part of the problem is that people get too caught up in the nomenclature. I think if people stopped focusing on phrases like gays in the military and gay marriage and started focusing on the word equality instead, things seem less complicated. I guess not everyone thinks that way, though…

Aside from the fact that everyone deserves equal rights, I also have a selfish reason for wanting DADT gone. I’d personally like to see things get a little more fabulous. Not from a military standpoint, but for the spouses. I would totally start going to the spouse activities if they started including same sex partners! And why couldn’t they? They include girlfriends in the spouse activities. Oh, and it would be really awesome if someone’s partner became the “lead spouse”! I might actually want to comply with things :)

To quote one of my favorite actors, Neil Patrick Harris, on the first day of gay marriage in New York: “800 and some gay couples got married in New York yesterday. And the world didn’t end.” I don’t think the world will end if we allow people who are gay to serve their country either.

Ok, I’ll step down from my soapbox now :)