The first deployment

I think quite possibly one of the worst things you can experience when you’re married to the military is deployment. It just sucks. Nothing about it is fun. The worst part, for me anyway, is the leaving. Unfortunately this entry isn't as funny as some of my other stories, but here’s the story of my husband’s first deployment…

My husband didn’t have to be on base until late in the afternoon, so we spent the day watching funny movies to keep our spirits up. In hindsight, it might have been easier to just get it over with in the morning, but I was thankful for the time together. We drove my little red beetle to the base, which is definitely a chick car. Once, while driving it through security on base, the security forces airman at the gate actually laughed at my husband as he saluted him. As my husband pulled up to the gate this time, I made sure to turn on “omigod you guys” from Legally Blonde the Musical. I know it’s bad, but the song makes me happy and frankly, I needed a laugh.

We showed up at the base passenger terminal where we sat. It was pretty much the saddest room I’d ever been in. It was packed with people- older wives who were trying to look brave, young children with tiny flight suits on, and even young wives who were carrying newborns.

There were photographers from the paper and cameras from the news. Some people were actually volunteering to be interviewed and photographed. We shook our heads any time a camera came near and even hid our faces with a folder my husband had. We spent our last few minutes together hiding from these people. It was like the photographers were just waiting for a weak moment.

Well, that moment came. It was announced that it was time for them to leave. We hugged each other and, of course, the tears came. If you know me well, you know I cry really easy. The fact that I hadn’t burst into tears until now was a huge accomplishment. I watched my husband walk out of sight and he wasn’t gone more than 5 seconds when one of the photographers approached me. He said, “I took a very emotional photo of you and your husband just now! What are your names for the paper?” I wanted to tell him where he could go and what he could do with himself. Instead, all I could bring myself to say was, “No. That was a private moment.” He looked as if I’d ruined his day as I walked away.

I have no idea how the picture could have been that great. I am a seriously ugly crier. I mean, we’re talking red faced, sobbing and snorting with bloodshot eyes. I can’t help it. To add insult to injury, the night before, a bug had flown into my eye as we were leaving a restaurant. (I seriously couldn’t make this stuff up.) It must have been a big one because it really hurt and my eye was red for a few days after. So, before I was even crying I had this wonky, bloodshot eye. I looked like I had pink eye or something. It was not cute.

For some reason we had to wait there in that sad room for a few more minutes. I found a corner out of sight, near the door hoping no one would notice me. The then-commander’s wife, approached me with a fake smile and said, “There’s no reason to cry, we’re all going out for ice cream and you should come too!” I wanted so badly to tell her that I was crying because the photographer was an insensitive jerk and that I needed something a hell of a lot stronger than ice cream, but instead, I mumbled something along the lines of, “No thank you. I have a bottle of wine and Edward Cullen waiting for me at home.” (Don’t judge me! Twilight makes me feel better!)

As for the photographers, that picture did end up in the paper, but our names weren’t on it. We also ended up on the news. It was awful. What made it worse is that we were on base, so the news cameras were invited with no warning to us. I checked into it and apparently there was nothing I could do. It was incredibly frustrating. What’s worse, is that they seemed to really focus on families with children. I don’t have kids, but I wouldn’t want them to be photographed if I did. After that, I kept a piece of paper in my purse for these occasions that read, “I do NOT give consent to be photographed, video taped or have my image otherwise reproduced.” I know it won’t stop anyone, but hopefully it will keep them away.

I think about that now whenever I see a deployment or homecoming on the news. I know the world loves to see moments like that, but I can’t help but wonder if those people on the news went through what I did.