On moving

No, it’s not time for us to move yet, it’s just what this entry is about. I’m sure by now you’ve figured out there are a lot of things I don’t like about being a military wife. The thing that bugs me the most is moving. Hate is not a strong enough word for how I feel about moving. I loathe it. I detest it with the fire of a thousand suns. It makes me crazy.

People say I should embrace it, enjoy the adventure. I don’t want to, sorry. Before I got married I had moved once in my whole life and I was too young to remember it. I’ve lived in the same house for as long as I can remember. I miss my family and friends. I miss out on important events in the lives of people I love. I travel home often, but I can’t always be there and that’s hard.

We have officially been stationed at this base for 3 years, at 4 they will automatically move us again. This is the longest we’ve lived somewhere since my husband commissioned. I don’t want to move. The thought of it makes me want to cry. I love our little house and our sweet neighbors.

 In the first 2 years we were married the military moved us 4 times. It was for pilot training, but it was still pretty rough. It also seemed everyone (with the exception of a few) had an opinion on our lives and our marriage. It got to the point where I hated explaining my life to other people because our lives were totally up in the air until the end of pilot training when he got a “real” assignment. We were fortunate, though, my husband is smart and worked hard. He graduated 2^nd in his class and we got exactly what we wanted.

Even when you’re not supposed to be moving there is the threat of a move. Sometimes less desirable assignments for pilots come down and they have to force someone to take them. You are constantly at the mercy of someone else.

If you’ve never moved with the military, it’s a bit of a production. First, packers come and pack up all of your things. Then movers come to take them away. Then, your stuff sits in storage (sometimes for months) until you get to your location. Once you do, the movers come and deliver your stuff. The military pays for damages to your things, and something is always damaged. I have some beautiful furniture with ugly battle scars from moving. Some people choose to do the move themselves and the military gives them money… We just don’t have that kind of patience.

The military does take care of you when you move. Heck, they even pay you and your travel expenses. In many families, the active duty member will arrive at the new base first and the family will follow. If you arrive separately, you both get some sort of stipend. I’m not a financial expert by any stretch but I think it adds up. I don’t know how much money the military spends on moves each year, but it seems like a lot. I can’t imagine what it must cost to move a family of 4.

I know they move us to keep new ideas flowing and leadership fresh… but why not just move people around at the same base? I can’t speak for other bases, but I know at this one the different areas have very little, if any, contact with each other. I know some people want to move, but I know a lot of people don’t. I understand it’s part of this life, but why can’t we have the choice to move every 5 or 6 years instead of 3 or 4?

Plus, as a spouse, it’s hard to find a job. No one wants to hire you for a short time. I’m thankful that my job lets me utilize a home office and telecommute, but many people are not. My husband’s plane is domestic, so we can stay in the U.S. and I can keep my job.

I will also tell you, trying to decorate different spaces with the same stuff loses the fun after the 3^rd move in less than 2 years. I’ve considered writing letters about it, especially with the budget crisis we have, but I’m not even sure where to start or if anyone would see it as an issue.  

I am thankful for family and friends who give me a place to call “home” when this life feels so transient. To me, Florida will always be home. Have I mentioned I hate moving?