On fashion

I will admit right off the bat, I in no way a fashionista. This entry is going to make me sound a little catty, but that’s not how it’s meant. It’s just observations. When it comes down to it, I just like to be comfortable in my Florida casual wear. My sister works for J Crew, so her discount is about as fashionable as I get. That being said, I do think I have good taste for my body type. I know what works and what doesn’t often times just by looking at the clothes on the rack. I tend to dress conservatively, but I’m ok with that. I can’t say the same for some of the other wives I’ve encountered…

Before my husband returned home from this deployment, we all got an email from the “lead spouse” about the timeline. In the email, she said, “with your spouse’s impeding homecoming, take some time for yourselves. Get your hair done, clean your home and spend time looking for just the right outfit for your spouse’s arrival.” First of all, who are we supposed to be, Betty Draper?  I had no idea how these women would interpret this…

I showed up at the base terminal that early afternoon and it was about 40 degrees and windy. That’s actually pretty chilly for me. I put on a favorite pair of jeans, a flattering sweater and my Uggs. (Yes, I know Uggs are hideous, but they are comfy and warm! I don’t do heels well, so these were the best choice I had for boots.) I remembered my plaid scarf and my black pea coat because I knew I’d be chilly in the wind. I was so out of place in my casual wear.

I was surrounded by women in tight black dresses or short skirts with knee-high black go-go boots or stiletto heels on. Is this what the “lead spouse” meant by the perfect outfit? I didn’t get the memo we were all going clubbing later on. The funny part was most had small children with them.

I swear one woman was dressed like Britney Spears in her "Baby one more time" video. My favorite was a woman in a black sequined dress. It was really tight, but she pulled it off. However, she also wore fishnet stockings with a rose pattern that went up the side of them. Her shoes were purple suede platform pumps and she was carrying 2 toddlers. One of the toddlers was chewing on the sequins of the dress. I snapped a picture with my phone (if you know me you’ve seen this picture)… I have no idea how to post it here though. There are also kids in the picture, so I would need to find a way to hide their faces before I post it, because well, that’s not fair.

At my husband’s pilot training graduation dinner, I also made some observations… I personally know what it’s like to have to try everything on (even t-shirts) before I buy it. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve loved a dress but didn’t buy it because it was 1 size too small. Could I have squeezed into it? Sure. Would I be doing myself any favors?  No.

This is kind of gross and it bothers me that I even have to mention it, but it’s usually not ok to skip undergarments for a formal event. I won’t elaborate, but some people leave nothing to the imagination.

Also braiding your hair into 2 pigtails and then wrapping them around the back of your head is not an up do unless you’re the girl on the swiss miss box. And giant dragon necklace (the kind you find at a renaissance fair) really doesn’t work for a semi formal event unless it’s in Middle Earth or something.

I should note, this is not the way the majority of the other wives dress… Well, ok at the recent homecoming there were a lot dressed as described above, but not all. Some women have impeccable taste and dress beautifully, unfortunately, the most memorable outfits seem to be the worst. I’m probably boring in my A-Line dress but I am comfortable. I probably dress like an old lady, but I’m ok with that. It’s what works for me.