A little "me time"

In every marriage there is compromise. It’s truly a balancing act to handle everything. I think it’s even more so when you’re a military wife. You simply can’t do it all sometimes and that’s challenging for me to accept.

With my sister’s wedding coming up, I’m looking at a full calendar for the week. It’s taken some planning, but I think I can do it all. I feel so grateful that even my husband was able to get leave. In my mind, this week is all about my sister and she is my priority, but she’s also not very demanding, so I can find time to do a few things I want to. I was even able to schedule some time with good friends who I rarely see, thanks to their willingness to work around my crazy schedule.

I’m very fortunate that I get to go home often and see my family. This especially helpful when my husband is gone for long amounts of time, but it sometimes still takes some balancing. I hate missing out on things. I once drove more than 7 hours to be with my family when my nephew was born. I try to be there for everything but I’ve missed out on quite a few things too. For lack of a better word, it really sucks missing out on major events.

One of the hardest parts is that I sometimes have to choose me instead. I’m usually happy to go with the flow and do things according to what works best for other people, but sometimes I just can’t. I don’t put myself first all time, and sometimes it’s what I really need. This became especially important during the last deployment. I know what you’re thinking, if you’re alone so much, isn’t that “me time”? No, because I think for proper “me time” one has to be enjoying themselves and I was not.

Usually, I do fine on my own. I’m actually pretty good at trouble shooting most things. It just felt like everything went crazy at one point- I had car trouble, of course, and my blackberry decided to kick the bucket. On top of that, the toilet overflowed in 1 bathroom and the flusher broke on the other toilet (lucky me). In addition, I telecommute for work and my internet and computer decided to get hostile with me. A large picture in my bathroom randomly fell off the wall while I was brushing my teeth and managed to not only hit me, but the wall the whole way down. I got into a rather comical fight with a sprinkler in the back yard and I lost count of the number of times I tripped, fell, broke stuff, etc. It felt like my house and electronics were rebelling against me. The majority of this stuff happened in the span of about 3 weeks and I was starting to wonder if I was being punked or something.

I was in major need of some time for myself. When this happens, I usually find myself going home to Florida, because sometimes “me time” means being with the people who just get you. If I can’t do that, I try to go shopping or get a facial or something that makes me happy. This year, I missed a few events that were important to family and friends, but I needed to. I was in desperate need of doing what I wanted to do, and on my terms. I realize that doesn’t always make people happy, but most seemed to understand and I tried to make it up to people. Could I have handled things differently? Yes, but this was what I needed most at the time.

I spend a lot of time trying to make other people happy and I love that. It feels good to make someone else’s day, but I think it’s important in life to find sometime for yourself, doing what makes you happy. I wish I could be everywhere, but it’s just not possible sometimes. It bothers me, but I’m so incredibly blessed by friends and family who are there for me and understand.